#19

it's been an odd couple of days.

erik erikson was a developmental psychologist and psychoanalyst known for his theory of social development in human beings. a follower of freud, erikson had a passion for psychology from infancy and pursued this passion for the length of his career. his theory on social development split the major 'events' of life into eight stages;

hope - trust vs. mistrust

will - autonomy vs. shame/self doubt

purpose - initiative vs. guilt

competence - industry vs. inferiority

fidelity - identity vs. role confusion

love - intimacy vs. isolation

caring - generativity vs. stagnation

wisdom - ego integrity vs. despair

"no matter how successful you are in work, you are not complete until you are capable of intimacy"

when i first read this statement, my thoughts were only of how ridiculous this seemed. what was meant by intimacy? that you aren't complete until you are capable of having sex? ridiculous.

but then i began to consider the true implications of the word intimacy.

after digging my mind out of the gutter, i realized that the idea of intimacy was so much more than what it seems to be on the surface. with my first thought being sex, i started to think about what comes along with that, and how a relationship builds to that point. your whole life is spent with yourself. over a course of time, you learn how to be yourself, love yourself, and ultimately you learn to trust yourself. you learn your own morals, you trust in your own beliefs, and act as an independent support team for yourself. you are all you've got to depend on.

and then you have to share all that with someone else.

with the act of becoming intimate with another, you are willing to give all the trust you've built in yourself to someone else to share. by giving your self-trust to another, you also learn to trust in them.